What does “independent escort” mean? And why book independent escorts?
What is an independent escort?
An independent escort is an escort who works for herself (or himself - for simplicity’s sake I’ll be keeping to female pronouns from here on) and runs her own business. Contacting and booking an independent escort is different from booking an escort from an agency or visiting a brothel or massage parlour. Some escorts, of course, may work both for a brothel and/or an agency and independently, but if she’s advertising as independent, it’s her own business that you’re interacting with in that instance.
Why book an independent GFE escort?
I won’t cover brothels extensively here because the experience they offer is so different from high end escorting, and they target a different clientele entirely. When people seek out independent escorts, especially GFE escorts, they typically are looking for a more bespoke experience where they feel unhurried and seen and can experience a real sense of connection.
Agencies typically accept only a certain “style” of escort - a certain look that communicates whatever their brand is. Typically, that look is a very conventionally attractive, glossy, normative feminine kind of beauty. If you are looking for something outside of this - for instance, escorts with armpit hair, different body types, a more alternative look - you’ll be hard pressed to find it with an agency. Independent escorts, on the other hand, come in all shapes, types, and sizes, and offer a much wider range of experiences. Independent escorts are in control of their own advertising and choose how to present themselves.
Additionally, agencies typically charge very high fees, because a large percentage of the rate (sometimes as much as 50%) goes to the agency, not to the worker. When you book an independent escort, you’re only paying her, not her agency. For this reason, rates are typically (though not always 😉) lower, but either way, all your money goes to your companion, not her boss!
Kinky independent escorts & kinky GFE
Independent escorts, as I said, are in control of their own advertising and their own niche. Many escorts, in addition to GFE escorting, are also very open to kink and BDSM bookings. For those who seek to fulfill a certain fantasy or fetish, for example, an escort pegging them or something else from the kink, BDSM, and domination world, without going to a domina studio or having a full on domination experience (and perhaps also in combination with regular sex, which many dommes don’t offer), an independent companion can be a great choice for a bespoke fetish experience. Since you are communicating with the provider directly, it’s easy to discuss needs, desires, boundaries, and to make sure that you are on the same page before meeting, rather than just hoping for the best.
Booking an independent escort in Berlin and London
I have written several posts on this: how to book an independent escort or domina and how to make your first meeting with an independent escort run smoothly. If you’re unsure of how to proceed, I highly recommend reading these.
Why I love independent escorting
I have worked as an independent escort in Berlin and London for over half a decade at this point and I’m very happy with the freedom and agency it affords me. I’ve always disliked working to another person’s schedule or demands, and as an independent provider, I set my own schedule every day. I have a lot of projects outside of escorting, mostly in the realm of art and writing, and my work as an escort and fetish provider allows me the flexibility to work on these as much as I need without being constrained by a 9-to-5. It is, I will say, pretty dreamy.
Another thing I love about being an independent companion is the people I meet. Since I control my own marketing - and thus, who I am trying to appeal to - and since I decide who I’m willing to meet, I end up meeting people that I really want to see, who treat me well, and who I get along with. I’m often pleasantly delighted and surprised at how interesting my lovers turn out to be - creative, intelligent, funny people from all walks of life and from all over the world. It’s been a pleasure getting to know them and I only hope for many more.
There are, of course, other pleasures involved - but, well, I don’t kiss and tell. If you’d like to find out for yourself, I’m only a message away.
With love,
Lyra Bergman
Finally! The summer’s over
Is it just me that prefers fall to summer? Certainly not. Rhetorical question, haha. Summer places high demands on you - an injunction to enjoy, to celebrate, to feel, to be happy. It places a lot of pressure on your body and mind. I suppose I’m not the kind of person who goes to the countryside to relax in summer - not typically, anyway - I spend it all in the city, living fast and having all sorts of intense experiences in the humidity and the sweltering heat. I’m happy to finally feel like I can withdraw into myself, into all the secret, hidden places whose pleasures are more subtle.
That’s just to say that I’m still alive, still looking after this blog, still enjoying all kinds of secret adventures with lovers new and old. I’m looking forward to a lot of meetings this fall - to go a bit slower, a bit deeper. If you’ve stumbled upon this blog looking for an independent Berlin escort or domina, I would love to make your acquintance, to take my time with you. Our first meeting is only a message away.
Until then,
Lyra
PS: Is there a particular subject you’d love for me to write about? Let me know!
Golden showers or ”Natursekt”
I have a theory that each country, like a person, has its own national mental pathology, and it seems to follow that each country, like a person, has its own national fetishes. In Germany without a doubt it’s golden showers, or “Natursekt” (“natural prosecco” you might translate it), at least in my experience as an independent escort here in Berlin. I would almost say it’s so common that it barely registers as kinky - most men who request it are not submissive in general, and usually the context is more of a GFE escort meeting. (Of course, there are exceptions - check out my page for kink and domination in Berlin & London if you’re curious to know more.)
So, what is the appeal of a golden shower?
I’d like to clarify that I only give golden showers - I don’t receive them, that’s not my fetish, so of course on some level whatever is going through the mind of the other person while I’m showering them is a mystery to me. But human sexuality really intrigues me and I always like to ask, if the situation allows for it, how it feels for the other person. Here are some of the things I’ve been told.
Scent fetish (connected to armpit hair fetish, pubic hair fetish, body hair fetish, etc)
Many people who book me choose to do so because they love body hair - armpit hair and pubic hair - and usually people who love armpit hair also love the natural smell of a woman. Humans trap a lot of pheromones in their body hair. I once read that for a man, the greatest concentration of pheromones is found in the armpits, whereas in a woman, the greatest concentration is found in - take a wild guess - her urine. Seeing how important the sense of smell can be for getting you hot and bothered, it’s not surprising some would want to seek it out at the source.
The profound intimacy of a golden shower
I’ve been told that golden showers or natursekt for some represent a state of total intimacy with another person; to know that the other person is letting herself go completely, to experience something private and taboo with her, something deeply personal and deeply intimate. In that sense having her warm stream run over you can be rather romantic…
Golden shower/natursekt/pissplay as humiliation
I know I said this usually isn’t a fetish thing, but sometimes it certainly is, and that’s also fun. What better finish to a session of various humiliating, embarrassing games for the sub than to take him into the shower and piss on him? I’m sure many of my readers would agree, haha.
Having been exposed to urination fetish at a young age
This has been the answer from a few people - either that they’ve seen it in a porno while channel surfing, or they’ve seen women and girls around them urinating and been fascinated by the sight. Certain early experiences seem to settle in the mind and not allow themselves to be removed - and why should they? Having a fetish or kink can make your sexual life a lot more exciting, if you’re not too ashamed (or perhaps shame is part of the appeal, but that’s a blog post for another time.)
Is it gross to give a golden shower?
Honestly, no. I drink a lot of water during sessions to make sure I’m well hydrated - this isn’t the sort of thing you’d want to do with the first piss of the morning (unless you’re specifically into that). Typically we’ll do it in the shower or bathtub to make clean up afterwards easy.
Curious about trying a golden shower for the first time?
Maybe this has piqued your interest to try a golden shower for the first time, or maybe you’re here becase you want to live out a long cherished secret fantasy - at any rate, if you want to book your first escort experience with me, all you gotta do is fill out my form. (If this was all way more than you’ve ever wanted to know about piss, don’t worry - a golden shower is not mandatory. 😉)
With love and light and all sorts of liquids,
Your first time? Losing your virginity with an escort
Virginity is a loaded subject to say the least, but if there’s one surprising paradox, at least as far as I see it, it’s that losing your virginity doesn’t actually make you feel all that different about yourself or about life - but you need to lose your virginity to have that insight in the first place!
Be that as it may, being a virgin past what’s considered a “normal” age can weigh heavily on a person. We live in a time where people often feel alienated, with limited opportunities to meet other people for sex and romance, but where we are simultaneously surrounded by images of sex and romance, half-insights into the lives of other people, which make us feel inferior, as though we’re somehow missing out on one great big party.
Rather than allowing inexperience to turn them bitter, some men turn to escorts in order to lose their virginity, to finally get it over and done with. I definitely think this is a better choice than letting your inexperience gnaw on you. Escorts provide a safe, non-judgemental space for you to gain experience at your own pace, without fear of humiliation, without the pressure to perform. Sex is a skill that takes time to learn, and it can be daunting to try to enter into the game feeling like everyone is already way ahead of you (though they may very well not be half as confident as you think, in reality!)
I’m grateful to those of my clients who chose me to be their first; it requires a lot of trust on their part, and I do my best to honour that trust. In my experience, older virgins aren’t fundamentally damaged or insufficient in some sort of way; sometimes it’s just bad luck, missing the boat at a certain age and struggling to catch up, sometimes there have been medical issues at play - whatever the reason, my virgin clients have been very kind and pleasant men, not at all fitting the stereotype of the bitter incel. (Of course, if they had, I would have rejected them anyway. A bad attitude is the absolute biggest obstacle to happiness in life.) I hope they’re all happy, confident, and content, wherever they may be these days, and that their journey has taken them to a good place.
It takes a lot of courage to leap into the unknown, but it’s that leap into the unknown which creates worlds. Perhaps you’re ready to take the plunge?
With love,
Summer reading in the heatwave and beyond
If you haven’t heard much from me, I’ve been living it up in the real world, suffering through the extreme heatwave, and then kept the heat going with a little summer cold of my own, so all I’ve been doing for the past week or so is reading. I realised some time ago looking at my list of reads this year that I’d mostly read book by men - I mean, by a really large margin - so I tried to branch out a little bit and expand my horizons, make it 50-50 or so, by number of books if not by page count. I read a lot of classic and 20th century modernist fiction, and for some reason male writers tend to write much longer books than women. I don’t mind the occasional tome, indeed, I enjoy it, but sometimes it can get a bit one-note and turgid. I was looking at the 700 pages I have left of Solenoid and thinking, OK, in the time I read this I can read like 4 different books, maybe Solenoid can wait until the autumn. Until then, here’s some books I really liked:
Agóta Kristof, The Notebook Trilogy
Crisp, perverse, simple, brutal, to me this is perfect writing. The first two books especially.
Zora Neale Hurston, Barracoon: The Story of the Last "Black Cargo"
Nonfiction, an interview conducted in the 1920s with Cudjo Lewis, a black man who had been brought from Africa as a slave to the US on the last slave ship to ever arrive, detailing his long life and his memories of his childhood. I found this so unique and fascinating, I tore through it in a single day. I have to read more by this writer.
Linda Yablonsky, The Story of Junk
Heroin memoir of the 1980s, very funny, sad, and real. 1970s-1980s underground New York is a special interest of mine, and I really enjoyed trying to figure out who was the real person behind the various alibis.
Story of O, Pauline Réage
For me reading isn’t just about pure enjoyment, but about filling in blanks, pieces in a gigantic puzzle of references and connections. What surprised me about Story of O is not the explicit sexual content (I think pornography is generally tedious, even if I’m fascinated by sexuality and eroticism) but certain details, the attention paid to the internal life of O. Now that I think back on the book, I remember a kind of existential uneasiness, the details of gowns, furniture, and drapes. I never did find the controversial “final chapter”, of which there are apparently two versions, but I think the elliptical vagueness where it’s only described is somehow more fitting. I like it when writing breaks down, as if it can’t contain itself, leaving even itself to the imagination of the reader.
Speaking of leaving you to your imagination —
(*) the exception being I guess Middlemarch, which I’ll try to read once the hype dies down and my bookstore can get me a used copy cheaply, and I’m sure there’s plenty more, but I’m making a generalisation here. If you know of any tomes by women, feel free to email me and let me know.
AI, authenticity, and escorts
I’ve often heard from clients that booking an escort can be quite difficult, since many escorts have very glossy, highly-edited photos, which means that the person who shows up at your hotel door sometimes looks absolutely nothing like you expect. At the end of the day, an escort ad is still an ad and the idea is to show the person in the best possible light. Flattering angles, a small degree of editing, and so on are certainly permissible, at least in my book, and a mix of studio photos and selfies brings the fantasy a little bit closer to reality. It’s very important to me, however, that my clients don’t feel decieved, and that when they meet me it’s a pleasant surprise rather than a disappointment. So far I’ve had no complaints. I’m a bit of a strange woman in more ways than one, and I’ve realised that it’s much more worthwhile to reach people who want me, specifically, rather than try to appeal to a broader, more generic market in which I anyway wouldn’t quite fit. (If you do look like an instagram model, though - good for you.)
I wonder, with the proliferation of perfect-looking, non-existent women on the internet, with big eyes, big lips, big breasts, and itty bitty waists, if deviation from the ideal, rather than adherance to it, will become an even greater asset in marketing? I’ll make it official - I absolutely hate AI, both for image generation and for writing. In image generation, it severs all connection between the image and reality. I recently came across an account on Vinted where every picture of a pair of trousers was accompanied by an AI image of those trousers fitting somebody’s perky ass perfectly. Okay, sure, the trousers may actually materially exist - but what is the point of showing an image of them that is not taken from real life? It says less than nothing about how they actual will fit an actual ass, and that’s the only thing I’m interested in learning from the photos.
As an escort, I also think using LLMs like ChatGPT to write your ad copy, twitter responses, and so on is a huge mistake from a marketing standpoint (I won’t go into my other reservations in this post). It might seem like a good idea to sound slick and perfect, but at the end that slickness removes all individual voice from your writing and makes you sound completely generic. With the proliferation of AI writing, the average person’s ability to detect it has also gone up - and it reads as very, very cheap. It sounds insincere and lazy and comes off as pure filler from someone who does not respect the written word nor the reader. The moment I realise something was written by an LLM, my eyes simply glaze over; it’s unreadable in the same way that plastic fruit is inedible. The best clients seek connection and specificity - they want you for you, and how can they find that if no part of your advertising reflects you? If you can’t even be bothered to write your own text, why should anybody else bother to read it?
In honour of idiosyncracy and raw edges, I’ll leave this entry, which I knocked out in five minutes, as it is.
PS: Yes, I’m aware not everyone is good with language, though I still think “bad” writing is preferable to LLM writing. However, this is what you hire a copywriter for. Writing needs a human touch. Otherwise, why even write?
With love, and a human touch
Date ideas for the Berlin summer
Dare I dream a little dream? But before I lose myself - I want to give a big thanks to everyone who made my visit to London in May so special. Perhaps we’ll see each other again before long…
Sushi and sashimi at Dudu31
The summer is the perfect time for sashimi and my visit to London has me missing the quality of offerings there. I recently said, somewhat arrogantly, that Japanese food in London blows Berlin out of the water, but I’ve heard such good things about this place that it’s possible I may be wrong. Wanna find out together?
Peter Hujar / Liz Deschenes
Oops, this is only until June 28. Better hurry!
Balkan Erotic Epic at Gropius Bau (until August 30)
I know, I know, Abramovic is a bit of a cliché at this point… still, wouldn’t you rather make up your mind yourself?
But perhaps you’re more the type for a stroll around a rose garden. I’m also partial to the one at Volkspark Humboldthain, and I love going into the lookout tower afterwards and seeing all of Berlin spread out before me. I truly do love Berlin, and even having been here almost a decade it never bores me. It’s good to be home.
With love,
London date ideas for May
Wow! What a warm welcome - London at its sunniest and sultriest. I’ve been flitting around like a woman possessed. Help me catch my breath - or take it away? Here’s a few things I’d love to do and see:
Dangerous Liaisons at the National Theatre
I’m a big fan of this juicy piece of 18th century gossip; trashy, arch, funny, irreverent, and moral in equal measure. I read the novel last year and watched the movie countless times. I almost can’t think of anything more inspiring for a night of debauchery.
Drinks at the Barbican Martini Bar
Love it or hate it - I absolutely love brutalism and the Barbican has sunk its claws into me. I wish I had something to recommend after drinks, but the current program at the Barbican does not inspire me. I’m sure we could think of something else to flit away our time.
Omakase at Iné in Hampstead
No London visit is complete without sampling the best cuisine the city has to offer. (I’m very, very open to suggestions here.)
Music and Cocktails at Ronnie Scott’s
Ronnie Scott’s is a world-famous jazz club, funded in 1959. I love live jazz, but I’ve not yet had the pleasure of going - this must be remedied immediately!
Zurbarán at the National Gallery
Escape the heat with me and dive into a more contemplative world. “A peer of Murillo and Velázquez, Zurbarán stands out for his drama, mystery and vision. From the rind of a lemon to the timeless gaze of a saint, he finds an intensity in the ordinary. Strong light and deep shadow bring real faces, soft fabrics, fresh fruit and flowers to life. His paintings unite stillness, focus and faith. “
Inspired? Inquisitive? Our meeting is only a message away.
I’ll be leaving London on May 30, so don’t wait too long. Let’s find out how sweet and indulgent life can really be.
With love,
My May trip to London
Just a quick entry today to talk a little bit about my upcoming visit to London (May 22-30). I’m so excited! Usually I go to London a number of times every year, but this year Berlin has kept me too busy to get away - thus far. Some of you know I used to live in London, and I miss it often - the historic ambience, the sense of density and weight, hidden luxury and secret places.
If you’ve been waiting to book a meeting with me, please don’t hesitate. It’s my first trip in a while and I expect to be booked up rather quickly. Check my companionship & escort page, or my kink & domination page for some idea of what we could do together, or take a look at my dinner date wishlist if you want to go somewhere special together. This time, I’m really craving terrace drinks at the Barbican, maybe catching a play… but I’ll play it by ear.
With love,
Updates to my wishlist
Just a quick one today to say that I’ve added a number of things to my wishlist, mostly sexy lingerie, leather, and latex. I hate to admit this as it doesn’t really suit an escort but I’m not a particularly materialistic person; I’d like to have a small amount of really well made, comfortable things that fit and flatter me. Haha, am I lying to myself? If I had infinite space I’d love to have a huge walk in closet full of vintage pieces, a dedicated library full of my favourite books, a music studio, a painting studio… well, enough fantasizing - I already have a painting studio. Hop over to my Throne if you feel like paying the rent this month; you’ll put a big smile on my face.
I think it’s a wonderful gesture to make a woman’s life easier and more comfortable without having to be goaded into it.
PS: I’ll be going to London this month from May 22-30; I’m absolutely tickled pink. More on this later - for now, why not check out my companionship and dating page, or my guide on booking a first meeting with an escort. And don’t forget to reach out when you’re ready to book your first GFE escort or domina meeting with me.
I promise my next blog entry will be a little bit more lucid; I’ve had a wild week.
Love and luxury, of the immaterial kind
Berlin date ideas for April and May
Finally! The sun is out again. Berlin spring, the ultimate sadistic edging goddess, is bringing us ever closer, inch by inch, to an orgiastic release of pollen and pheromones. You feel it walking down the streets, in the lingering eyes and flirty smiles of bypassers, in the lush explosion of trees in bloom. Here are some things I’d like to do with you soon:
Sunset terrace drinks at the Monbijou Hotel
What could be better than watching the sun slowly sink, bathing the beautiful buildings of central Berlin in gold and amber light, teasing out tension and laughter over wine or cocktails as the evening turns to night, all the stars coming out as we finally retire to somewhere more private…? (Hotel de Rome also has a nice terrace bar, I’ve been told.)
Göbekli Tepe exhibition at James Simon Gallery
For better or for worse, talk to me for about two minutes and you will realise that I am a massive archaeology nerd. Göbekli Tepe, as one of the most mysterious neolithic structures yet discovered, holds a special fascination for me. For you, too? The exhibition runs until July, so there’s plenty of time - if our interests align, I’m sure it would give us a lot to talk about.
Shopping spree at Schwarzer Reiter
Okay, not exactly a spring-specific activity, but can you blame me? If you’d like to indulge me by watching me try on the most delightfully sinful little garments until we find the one that makes the blood quicken in your veins, well, you won’t have to ask me twice. Located a stone’s throw away from KaDeWe, the famous department store, Schwarzer Reiter specialises in luxury BDSM & fetish wear.
Has your blood thawed yet? Message me. Message me even if it hasn’t. I’ll put a spring in your step and warm you right up. It’s time to wake up and face all the beauty and pleasure that life has to offer.
With love,
Desire, submission, and secrecy - the joys of sensual domination
We live in a society (pause) that is simultaneously obsessed with and terrified of sex. Sexuality is ever-present in our public conversations - as a way to measure status, as a constant cause for moral panic, and as part of the constant gender war, culture war debate we’re all forced to hear about whether we want to or not. It imposes standards of behaviour and appearance, is a tool to praise, judge, and threaten. At the same time, the nitty-gritty of sex, the personal, intimate, lived experience, is still as wrapped up and private as it’s ever been. It’s dangerous to talk openly about your true desires.
I deal with a lot of fetishes in my work and it is one of my favourite aspects. To know that someone trusts me enough to open up about something so personal - something connected both with so much shame and so much pleasure - is truly special. Many people don’t feel they can open up to their partners about their fetishes or kinks, especially as many fetishes transgress against the expected masculine gender role, which they are expected to fulfill in their relationship - also outside of the bedroom. On a that note -
Are submissive men weak men?
In my experience, no! Sexuality sometimes functions as a sort of shadow-side counterpart to one’s daily life. I find it’s men who have a lot of responsibilities, such as demanding jobs with many subordinates, who like to submit during sex. Submission allows them a profoundly relaxing playspace where they can exist completely in the moment, knowing that nothing is expected of them, no choices need to be made, everything is taken care of. How one gets to that point - whether it’s through physical sadism, restraint, or the mere use of a few well chosen words - varies widely, but the end result is the same: a sort of blissful mindlessness and total release.
Exploring your submissive side with a domina, fetish provider, or kinky escort
As relationships are based on far more than sex, it’s perfectly understandable to me that a man would not want to risk disturbing the balance of an otherwise happy relationship by asking, say, a vanilla partner to put him in chastity and peg him. This is where erotic professionals, such as dominas, independent fetish workers, and kinky escorts can fulfill a really important function. With us, you inhabit a space that is both intimate and compartmentalized - by which I mean, what happens between us, stays between us. On the one hand, open-minded, and non-judgemental; I’ve seen it all, literally - but I don’t kiss and tell. On the other hand, we are experienced and skilled, which means your time with us is a lot more likely to be satisfying and fruitful than with someone who has no interest or experience in BDSM. Doesn’t the thought of handing your leash to me and letting me make the decisions make you feel relaxed already?
Dominatrix - sensual domination - bizarrlady or kinky girlfriend - what is the distinction?
Not everyone who is interested in submission or kink is interested in the whole dominatrix experience with leather, whips, a dungeon, and so on. While I do offer this - and I am very happy to do so - I also get a lot of requests for something inbetween; a dominant, sensual woman who is happy to take the lead, to indulge certain fetishes and kinks, but who also offers the sexual intimacy, tenderness, and connection of a GFE escort. In Germany, which has a rich BDSM culture - especially in Berlin! - terms are defined a bit more strictly; a dominatrix typically does not offer erotic physical touch, whereas a bizarrlady is closer to what in the English-speaking world is sometimes called “sensual domination”, which includes sexual touch. Between a kinky girlfriend experience and a strict dominatrix experience, a whole range of dynamics are possible. I’m always happy to find out what makes you tick, and, within the frame of trust, create a space of total freedom for the both of us, where we can dive into our roles and forget about everything else.
Life is short. If you have a secret kink that makes your heart race, or if the thought of submission makes you weak at the knees, why not reach out today? My touch, be it gentle or cruel, is only a message away.
With love,
Some books I read in the first quarter of 2026
Apropos of nothing… I’m a voracious reader and this year there’s been a lot of good books that stood out to me. I’m a bit obstinate, and I hate to leave a book unfinished - I commit to the ride pretty early on, whether I’m enjoying it or not. For me, reading is part pleasure and part education. Everything I read adds a piece to a gigantic puzzle of meta-references and resonances. This means reading is not always about enjoyment, but this year I was lucky to somehow combine business and pleasure more than I expected.
Sweet Days of Discipline (Fleur Jaeggy, 1991)
Short but not exactly sweet, this book tells of the narrator’s schoolgirl infatuation with another girl at a prestigious Swiss boarding school in the, I’m guessing, 60s? Absolutely delicious, a wonderful look into a melancholy and emotionally brutal private world. I can’t wait to read more books by Jaeggy - if anyone reading this happens to have a favourite, shoot me a line and tell me what to read next.
Doctor Faustus (Thomas Mann, 1947)
This book was written during WII and struggles with German cultural identity - in the sense of, what remains of it, if anything, after Nazism? Long discourses on music theory make this somewhat dense and slow to read, but fortunately Thomas Mann was an extraordinarily talented prose stylist and it’s a pleasure to listen to him talk about literally anything, though Death in Venice remains my favourite.
The English Understand Wool (Helen DeWitt, 2022)
I have to confess I re-read this novella because I came home drunk and wanted something I could read in an hour that would make me laugh. It did. Highly recommended.
The Atrocity Exhibition (J.G. Ballard, 1969)
Another re-read; I might have read this 4 or 5 times. Books like this, that play very loose with the definition of a novel, are always very inspiring to me; not because I want to write like Ballard, exactly, but rather because it reminds me that anything is possible, that you can do what you want, stretch the format as you wish, and nobody can stop you. The version of the book I read this time had a sort of odd “Director’s Commentary” of notes in the margins explaining the myriad references in the text, artworks and literature and historical events that inspired it, et cetera, which rather than being distracted was actually tremendously helpful and interesting and led me down a lot of interesting paths. I shared some of my favourites on my Twitter. Ballard differs from other writers of the, you might call it mid-20th century edgelord set, in that he seems to have been a pretty decent person in his private life (raising two daughters on his own as a widower), despite his focus (in his writing) on human predation and perversion. I love this 1984 interview in the Paris Review.
Today I think I’ll commit to finishing The Gospel of Jesus Christ by José Saramago… it’s Easter, after all, and what better way to spend it? I’m also looking forward to reading (and looking) through The Unified Field, about the paintings of David Lynch, which a particularly thoughtful lover gifted me after fulfilling my wish for a Berlin date to the Pace Gallery in March. Want to fulfill another wish? I have plenty of wishes, I am full of desires.
I hope your Easter is filled with eggs, bunnies, and daffodils (in Sweden we call them “Easter lillies”). Or atonement, discipline, and rebirth, if that’s the way you prefer it. Which I do.
With love,
Armpit hair update
Haha, were you waiting for this one? I hope you’re as excited for this as I am. I’ve been growing out my pit hair since January and I’d say it’s at about 75% of its full length. My body hair tends to grow out very silky and soft, pleasant to the touch, so I’m happy to leave it as it is. I can’t wait to turn heads this summer in sleeveless dresses and tops! Not that a woman’s hairy armpit is a particularly rare sight in Berlin… among escorts, though, it is actually a rarity!
How popular is body hair, really, I mean - for people that are attracted to women? It’s hard for me to judge, since the people who contact me are already hairy escort lovers to begin with, generally speaking - assuming they read my website properly. In a similar way, people who contact me will, of course, be people who love curvy, blonde, Scandinavian escorts with natural breasts and curvy asses. That’s the selection bias. Shaving my armpits was, for me, partly an experience in seeing how this would affect my clientele. I can honestly say that I did not see an increase in clients who were happy that they were shaved - but I did have a lot of disappointed regulars. So, whoever you are, you clearly love me (or lust after me) for who I usually am. Thanks for that, the feeling is mutual.
With love,
Berlin date ideas for March
Is the sunlight thawing your frozen heart and soul? Haha. The famously dark and gloomy city of Berlin makes a 180-degree turn in spring and suddenly becomes the friendliest, flirtiest, most beautifully romantic and laid-back place on earth. Well, at least in this independent escort’s opinion. Here are some things I would love to see this month:
I’m a huge fan of this visionary filmmaker. This exhibition brings together short films, paintings, and other visual art. Until March 29!
The End of Theatre at Bortolozzi
I’m honestly not sure what this is but my friend wouldn’t stop raving about it. Let’s go in blind! Until March 21.
One of Berlin’s most beautiful places. I’ve never seen it in early spring before, have you?
… and why not let the day end in style with a meal at Nobelhart & Schmutzig?
(RIP my beloved Zenkichi. Dining in Berlin has never felt quite the same.)
Want to indulge me - or maybe you’ve got an even better idea for a date? All you have to do is send the first message.
Love and sunshine,
A taste of spring
Today, on the penultimate day of February, with the first round of truly good weather of the year here in dark Berlin, 18C and sunshine, I’m thinking about the Chinese title of Wong Kar Wai’s “Happy Together” - 春光乍洩, an idiom, “Spring sunshine emerges to bring the world alive”, literally, “to give a glimpse of something intimate” (one’s underwear? A nipple flash perhaps?)
Nothing like spring to make you feel young and put a little bit of heat in your blood. I hope we’ll all be catching little glimpses of spring sunshine to bring our worlds alive soon…
Wanna bring that sunshine a little bit closer? All you gotta do is send me a message.
Love and lust,
My appearance on Hedonista podcast
I can’t believe I forgot to mention this, but at the end of last year I appeared on Hedonista Podcast together with Elisa Carbo. We had a fabulous time together discussing the ins and outs of escorting and how it changes your life. If you’ve ever been curious to hear my voice, here’s your chance…
Love,
Escorts with hairy armpits - now that’s an idea
Believe it or not, but I have decided to grow my armpit hair out again. Not! Because of the bereavement of all the hairy armpit lovers out there, yes, I have received your complaints - but because variety is the spice of life, and frankly I just recognise myself easier in the mirror when my armpits are as hairy as my bush. It’s the perfect three-point composition.
It’s interesting that shaving your armpits are considered in many places to be essential female grooming, a matter of hygiene - I know in the US that’s also the case for grooming your pubic hair. Fortunately, in my circles it’s basically a non-issue, and I’m not terribly interested in rehashing the debates about bodily agency as it relates to personal grooming which were so ubiquitous many years ago. Having hairy armpits is pretty uncommon among escorts, even independent ones, but I don’t mind being an exception. Frankly, I think it’s sexy too - I know I’m really attracted to someone when their pits just smell amazing to me. Suffice to say, if you’ve missed worshipping my hairy armpits, or if you’ve always dreamed of putting your (nose, mouth, face…) in there - spring has just sprung for you.
Until then…
PS: Don’t take too long to write me - I might very well decide to shave them again when summer rolls around. But summer in Berlin has rarely seemed further away than it does now - it’s so cold I almost wish my entire body was covered in fur, like a little cat. Wouldn’t that be cute? Meow!
All I want for Christmas…
I love Christmas! Gift giving is my love language and nothing makes me buzz like thinking up the perfect gift for a loved one and holding onto it until the moment comes. But, of course, trying to pick out the right thing can also be a nerve wracking experience… for some. Want to make our meeting during this season extra special? Here are some beautiful things I’ve been coveting.
Full red set from Anoeses
I’ve had my eyes on this lingerie brand for a while and the holiday season has made it painfully clear to me that the colour red is sorely missing from my wardrobe. Hop over to my Throne if you feel the burning need to remedy this immediately. The garter belt is absolutely to die for.
Good Boi candles, “WHIP CRACK”
I’m obsessed with this independent London candle maker. Truthfully, I love them all, but how could a girl like me say no to a candle with this type of description?
Angela Carter, “The Sadeian Woman and the Ideology of Pornography”
I’m a voracious reader, and I love it when a book is not just a an intellectual pleasure, but a visual pleasure too. I especially love to collect vintage editions with beautiful covers. Sure, the cover isn’t everything - but presentation certainly makes a big difference. Don’t you agree?
I’m sure something else will catch my eye before Christmas, but for now - no rest for the wicked.
Head over to my Throne wishlist if you think I’ve been a good girl this year. Or fill out my contact form and find out how bad I can really be…
Until then,
How to make your first meeting with an independent escort run smoothly
As promised, here comes the follow-up to my last blog post, DOS AND DON'TS WHEN BOOKING A COMPANION. This post is a handy guide for first-time (or returning!) clients who are asking themselves how to act when meeting an escort or companion for the first time. As always, I only speak for myself as an independent escort/domina in Berlin, and expectations differ. However, I don't believe I'm a massive outlier, and a regular sense of respect and politeness will take you pretty far.
Preparation: Hygiene and ambience
Unless you ask me not to, I will arrive freshly showered, teeth brushed, and so on, at your door, and I would like the same from you. Floss, use mouthwash, brush your teeth, shower, clean properly with soap, and use deodorant. It's not easy to be intimate with someone who has bad hygiene, and I don't like having to ask you to take a shower or brush your teeth in the middle of the session. Awkward as it may be - I will ask, and it will cut into the time you have booked, so if you neglect your hygiene you're also wasting your own time and money. That would really be a shame!
As for ambience, it’s great to make sure your place is clean, without dirty clothes, takeout containers, et cetera lying around.
Outfit requests
If you want the companion you're meeting to wear a specific outfit or item of clothing, unless you've seen it in her photos, it's good etiquette to buy it and bring it yourself, or at least offer to pay for it. I wouldn't suggest asking for an outfit just before a booking when your provider may already be on her way to you.
Payment
Ideally, you should pay without having to be asked at the beginning of the session - this reduces awkwardness significantly. You can also leave the fee in a visible place in your room, or, if meeting in public, I suggest putting it inside of a book, gift bag, or similar, if you want to be discreet.
Unless previously discussed, don't assume you can pay with a bank transfer at the beginning of the session - these can take hours to arrive and no serious companion will engage in any sexual activity before she's been paid. Definitely don't assume you can pay with PayPal - their policies towards sex workers are extremely hostile and I do not use them.
Greeting
A simple hug or even just a smile and a hello is plenty when setting eyes on a stranger - we'll get to the hot stuff later in the booking when we're comfortable with each other. I've occasionally had clients meet me at the door and try to greet me with a big sloppy kiss - for God's sake (and mine, and yours) please don't do this.
Communication
I like to sit down and discuss what we're going to do during our booking, even if we've already talked about it over text, just to make sure we're on the same page. If you want to do something with me, or to me, that hasn't been discussed, please ask with your words instead of your hands. The worst I'll say is no!
Drinks, gifts, et cetera
It's not obligatory, but I always like being asked if I'd like something to drink - alcoholic or non-alcoholic. I'm very fine with you drinking a bit of alcohol if it takes the edge off. Straight-up drunkenness has its drawbacks, as I'm sure you can imagine. I love arriving to a little gift, I think it's really sweet, but, again, it's not obligatory.
Closing remarks
How good your experience with a companion will be, depends a lot on how you treat her. Put someone at ease, make her feel respected and valued, and she will return the favour ten-fold. And there's few things better than that.
Lastly, don't feel too self-conscious after reading this list - if you're even asking yourself how to make another person feel good, you're already halfway there. The kind of people who would be reading this list are exactly the kind of people I want to meet. Reach out, I'm only a message away.
With love, and see you soon...