DOS AND DON'TS WHEN BOOKING A COMPANION

Booking an escort for the first time can be a nerve-wracking experience. There are certain etiquette standards, that if not adhered to, can get you blocked without knowing why. This guide is not directed at experienced clients who regularly book escorts successfully - good for you, you must be doing something right! It is directed at potential clients who want to book, but don't know how, and who are nervous about messing up.

 Booking an escort, companion, or fetish provider is a great way to make time for yourself, to relax, to reconnect with your body and restore your sense of well-being. It removes the complications and uncertainty of regular dating and allows you to have a tailor-made experience focused on your needs. Whether you're longing for skin-to-skin contact, to let go of control for once, or just hot sex, seeing an erotic provider is a great way to release stress. So - what to do, and what NOT to do, when booking an escort for the first time?

This list is based on my own experiences as an independent escort, kinky GFE companion, and domina in Berlin (and London). Working practices among escorts differ from country to country and from provider to provier, and this isn't a one-size-fits all list. Most importantly, you need to refer to the website or ad of the actual escort or domina you want to book. Actually, let me make that the first point:

Read before you write

An established provider, companion, domina, what have you, will have a website or at the very least an ad. The information she puts online will be there, deliberately, to help you make a choice, to help you understand what she provides, and to help you understand how she prefers to be contacted. Reading the ad is really half the battle!

Know what you want

You don't have to be Don Juan to book an escort, or some sort of sexual mastermind, but you should not be writing a domina asking "what sort of BDSM session can we do?" or writing an escort "what do you feel like doing with me?" If you don't already have a fantasy you want to turn into reality, I can't invest energy into inventing one for you. Take your time to think about it, and learn to articulate your desires. This will benefit you in your personal life, too! It doesn't have to be complicated.

(It's my impression that US providers generally don't discuss sexual details beforehand. I'm working in Europe, and here the legal situation is different. That being said, keep it short and not too graphic - no one handed typing, please!)

The ideal first message

... should contain: 

A greeting + your name (the very basis of polite communication)

A location for the meeting, a date, a rough time, and the duration

A short description of what you expect to experience during our date

and a short description of you and your interests!

Including all this information in the first message makes you look serious and well-considered, and means a date can be arranged in just one or two messages instead of two dozen. I cannot overstate what a good impression this makes.

Conveniently, my booking form already has different fields set out for all the information I require, so you don't need to worry about forgetting something.

Many providers also expect screening details such as an ID photo or a LinkedIn. I personally don't usually consider this necessary, since I work under a legalisation model in Germany. It does make a good impression, though.

Show serious intent

For dates that require a bit more working out in detail - whether that's playing through a specific BDSM scenario, or deciding on a restaurant together - this really should happen after the deposit is sent, or in the case of a FMTY booking, at least some sort of gift or tribute. Escorts receive a lot of inquiries from fantasists that are writing just to pass the time. If you want to differentiate yourself from them, you will need to put your money where your mouth is.

Don’t argue about terms

To book an escort is not like talking a woman into going on a private date with you, or getting your cousin's wife's brother to fix a hole in your roof for cheap. An escort has an established business and an established way of working and taking on new clients. That means, you have to either accept her conditions for meeting you, or accept that you won't be meeting her. It is not an informal connection where you can argue about the details or impose your own conditions. In fact, nothing will destroy any sense of excitement she may feel towards your date more quickly than arguing about deposit or screening policy, or refusing to send details that she asks for. These practices are not arbitrary but developed through many years of professional eperience to make the dating experience smooth, safe, and simple. Please, don't make things complicated.

Deposits

In my experience, about 80% of clients who don't pay deposits will cancel, or simply ghost when the day arrives. This makes it impossible to plan anything, and it takes potential bookings away from actual serious clients. As much as I wish I could rely on promises alone, unfortunately, it is simply not possible to work as an independent escort in this day and age without taking deposits. I offer several ways to pay your deposit! PayPal, however, is not one of them. Paying your deposit quickly and without making things difficult shows respect towards me as a provider and sets you apart as a good client, the kind that escorts are delighted to meet.

Don’t haggle - ever

I think everyone knows this, really, but it has to be said. Haggling with an erotic service provider is considered irredeemably rude. Also, do not suggest your own price for the services you desire. The escort sets the rate, always - there are providers at many different price ranges, and you should not be contacting someone you can't afford. Personally, if you try to haggle with me, I will never meet you, even if you walk it back. It is so insulting and shows such fundamental disrespect that there is simply no way to make up for it. Do you really think someone will be excited to be intimate with you after you've suggested they're not worth their rate?

Timing

Booking in advance highly increases the chance that I will be able to accommodate your wishes. It allows me to plan well for the date and to get into the right mindset in a relaxed fashion. Besides, it allows the both of us to build up anticipation! It's nice to have something to look forward to, isn't it? A same-day date can be possible, too, if you're lucky - but definitely not within one hour.

(By the way: Don't expect success when messaging providers at 2am asking if they can come to you immediately. We have regular lives and are probably sleeping. Also, "immediately" is never sexy, regardless of the time of day. It's stressful!)

Going the extra mile

It's not obligatory, but always much appreciated, to send a small gift or token of appreciation before a date. If you want me to wear something specific, I'm happy to oblige when possible - but I will be expecting you to buy it for me. Why not take the opportunity to make our first meeting more exciting and memorable for the both of us?

Hopefully, my gentle guidance has put you well on your way to making a successful appointment with the woman of your dreams. I'll follow up with my do's and don'ts for the actual meeting... but that's for another day. You know I love to make you wait for it.

With love,